Hush...Darling

I initially rent a house sharing with another girl who’s two years older than me and possesses a job as an indoor designer in Nike company. High salary, high pressure, as you can guess. She said to me on the first day that her boyfriend might drop by on weekends. I said okay. Then her boyfriend drops by every weekend, and then even on Mondays, Wednesdays. To be honest, I feel cheated. And I am not comfortable about her boyfriend’s frequent visit. Very inconvenient, in a word.

They are really a normal couple. The boy is used to sit in the couch and meanwhile the girl is busying cooking in the kitchen. Sometimes when he’s hungry he walks to the girl and asks her to hurry up. When dinner is ready, they sit at the dinner table and eat, maybe some casual talks about the daily life, relatives and work stuff. Finished dinner, girl gets busy washing the dishes, and boy goes on watching TV. After all work’s done, girl sits in the couch as well to enjoy the boring TV dramas or shows. Then bath, one by one, then bed time, sometimes making love, sometimes not. I am never curious about what would happen behind the locked door. I guess because I can imagine.

Life is plain, and dull. Not only refer to them, I mean my life too. Every night returning home with a tired body and exhausted mind, I try to persuade myself that the world is full of beauty waiting for me to discover. The best is yet to come, and before that, everybody just has to be patient, and never give up. But now I’m afraid I can’t hold that long, long enough to see the best coming. Watching how the humdrum couple spends their life makes me more desperate. They have money, but they are not happy. You know the other night when the boy slept in bed, my housemate came into my room and said to me, “Joyce, I admire you so much. You’re single, but you’re free. You can do whatever you like without any chains. I often think about what if I was still single, life will be definitely more fun and colorful.” I smiled and asked, “when will you two get marry?” “In five years, we are saving money already.”she said. At that moment I finally know that God has been kidding on me. It makes me face the truth of life in this way, so straight. That is, everybody assumes that other people’s life is always better than theirs. We make ourselves unhappy because we will never be others. How silly! I bet even if her boyfriend heard what his girlfriend said, he would not be pissed off. Probably he thinks the same too! So obviously their passionate love is gone, and left the unromantic daily life which just erodes their soul little by little, fading forever.

When my housemate pulled her inner talk out to me, I couldn’t help thinking, FUCK YOU. If you really admire me that much, why don’t you just leave your boyfriend and join me enjoying the freedom of being single as you wish? Totally shit! I am not smart but not stupid, please don’t fucking lie to me in this way again, please! I felt really annoyed when the bitch talked to me every time because I was so damn busy figuring out whether she’s telling a truth or just another lie. God, when can I get rid of this couple nightmare???